IX. Channel Flipping the Apocalypse (first posted 1-4-13)

Did he who make the lamb make thee?
–       Blake

Sorry to say, we have withdrawn your application for
The human race, since the beginning, has had a biological
Void. If you think that this message is in error, please contact
A personal friend and the next President of the United States,
Your sister. She asked about you. She wants to know if you’re
A zombie. First, we thought it was a flu, but then, they began to
Feel lost in love? Feel like you just can’t meet that special someone? Then,
You won’t come back alive. The last group went up, just for a day trip, and
I found a good divorce attorney who was able to get me a fair share of
Being unto death. This is the true being of Dasein, who can only live
In utero. At this stage in the life of the developing infant, it has a small
Sense of moral responsibility and kindness toward others. Indeed, sociopaths
Ain’t shit! You think you own me, motherfucker? You don’t own
The original, signed Constitution of the United States of America, which is housed
In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful
White paper, void of all characters, without any ideas; how comes it to be
The rib, which he took of Adam into a woman; and brought her to
Deep Throat, starring Linda Lovelace, directed by Gerard Damiano, and distributed by
A baby boy! Seven pounds, two ounces. We are doing well, and Diana is
Putrid, rank, disgusting, vile, reprehensible, immoral, and downright
Correct! Next question, what African political figure
Ate the turkey that was sitting on the windowsill? If it was you, Alfred, I’m going to
Harvard University, Hebrew College, Hellenic College, Holyoke Community College, Hult International Business School, Labouré College, Lasell College, Lesley University, Longy School of
Sluts. All women are sluts and whoors. I’m telling you, don’t
Heed the words of the prophet, who said,
Unscrew your fucking head, there’s
The next ice age coming on, be prepared. The human race is
Thinking of you on New Years. I know I’ll never see you again but I miss your
Dentures. By soaking them overnight, you get rid of any
Sense. It doesn’t make any sense! I don’t get why anyone would
Live in various parts of the world, including North America and
Harlem, where, in the 1920s and 1930s, a new artistic movement
Fucked your girlfriend. Maybe I’ll fuck your sister, too. How would you like
Repetition. Now, repeat the following phrases and
Give up all hope of ever finding truth or goodness. Eat, drink, fuck; that, in the end,
Is a very nice pie tin. How much did it cost you? Well, Dolly, you might think a pie tin like this costs
Liberty, happiness, equality. And what can we make of the French Revolution with its promises of
Free tickets to the next caller who can tell me
Why bother? Why bother at all? If we’re all going to die, then what’s
The capital of Mozambique? Anybody? Anybody? It’s in today’s reading, people! Did any of you do today’s reading? I didn’t think so.


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